Just Another Ordinary Day
by problemhunter
Summary: What do you get when a baboon with a multicolored butt forces the pharaoh of Egypt to take a bath in his sister's room, leading down to said siblings playing Truth or Dare with the gods in their throne room? "No, Walt, don't. It was just another ordinary day for the Kanes."


**Summary: ****What do you get when a baboon with a multicolored butt forces the pharaoh of Egypt to take a bath in his sister's room, leading down to said siblings playing Truth or Dare with the gods in their throne room? "No, Walt, don't. It was just another ordinary day for the Kanes."**

**Warning/s: Possessive Horus, Perverted Horus, Mother-like Bas, Intervening Set**

**Rated T to be safe**

* * *

><p>It happened from the start of the Demon Days till the end of it, occurring every year. Isis and Horus would invite the outstanding heroes, the Kanes, to the palace of the gods – which was just an excuse to spend some time with them.<p>

* * *

><p>"Hurry up, Sadie! You've been in the bathroom for… wait a minute, let's see… an hour!"<p>

The large doors opened, revealing Sadie Kane. She was garbed in a big fluffy bathrobe and her hair was piled underneath a towel.

"For Gods' sake, Carter! Don't you have a bathroom of your own?"

Her brother gave her a sheepish smile. "The thing is – it's full of baboon hair."

"Oh." The blonde girl nodded, as if that explained everything. "Khufu?"

Carter Kane bobbed his head, a sigh parting from his lips. "Yup. Khufu."

Khufu was a baboon that had luscious and enviable golden hair as well as an overly colorful bum. Ever since Carter and Sadie set foot inside Brooklyn Mansion, Khufu became the Kane siblings' best friend. Once, when the manor housed the initiates, Carter found himself sharing a room with the animal. Even though the building had more than enough rooms for a baboon, Khufu chose to be by the boy's side. Since then, the two became quite inseparable.

Although sharing a room with a multi-colored baboon has its disadvantages.

"Well," Sadie opened the door a little wider. "For very wise animals, baboons aren't very hygienic. Come in, then."

The boy shot her a grateful grin. "Thanks, sis."

"Of course," she smirked. "I'm just that nice!"

Carter snickered, restraining himself. "Stop it, Sadie, you're making me laugh."

"Hurry your butt and go. It's a once in a lifetime offer." Then Sadie Kane softly slapped her brother's butt and closed the door, a fond smile making its way to her face. "Idiot."

* * *

><p>Carte heard the door close behind him, followed by a soft <em>click<em>.

He quietly stripped his clothes, certain that no one would bother him. Once he was done, he made his way to the tub and settled in, soaking himself in the warm water. He stretched his long legs and smiled – the picture of some sort of serene beauty.

His chest softly rose and fell in a steady rhythm. He was at peace and Carter Kane knew it. That, however, proved to be short-lived.

_Hello, Carter_

Carter practically jumped out of his skin. He gripped the tub for good measure. "What in your name are you doing here?"

A muffled voice sounded through the door: it was Sadie. "What are you talking about? I'm right outside!"

He called out to her. "I wasn't talking to you!"

A pause. Then Sadie said, "Okay."

He heard her feet shuffle. Once he was sure that his sister was gone, Carter hesitantly thought: _Horus?_

_The one and only_

Carter breathed a sigh of relief. He unclenched his fingers from the tub. _What are you doing here?_

_I'm not actually here, Carter, although I wish I am. _Horus's voice had a suggestive hint to it.

_I'll just go and pretend that that wasn't a sexual innuendo._

_Imagine all the things we can do once I'm there!_

Carter shook his head in disbelief_. Are you really saying that? Inside the bathroom? With me totally naked? In the tub?_

_I think you know me enough to be able to answer your questions._

_You __think__?_

_Carter!_

The magician gave out a fond and sincere chuckle. Horus, in spite of himself, felt giddy with joy; the sound was warm and pleasing to his ears. It was moments like this the war god treasured the most. Soon, a comfortable silence settled between them.

After some time, Carter asked. _Horus?_

_Yeah? _The war god replied.

_I think I already asked this but seriously, what brings you here?_

_You do not like _my_ presence? _The god sounded hurt.

Carter rolled his eyes at that. _You can be such a drama queen at times._

_King, _Horus insisted. _Also, I have to go. See you later._

_Later? _The mortal sounded confused.

_Oh. Didn't I tell you? You and are sister are expected to meet us gods in our palace. Goodbye!_

It took a bit of time before Carter registered what the war god said.

"HORUS!"

The name sounded through the corridors and hallways of the mansion. Judging from his sister's loud screeching wail, he suspected that a certain 'guest' also visited her head. The boy shuddered at the very thought of being stuck in Sadie's head.

"Hurry up, Carter!" Speak of the devil. "We have some gods to meet!"

Carter hurried out of the tub and quickly grabbed some clothes. "Sure! I want to talk to a _certain_ someone!"

"Count me in!"

Soon, the Kane siblings were on their way.

* * *

><p>"Man, this is boring!"<p>

Plenty of the gods, as well as Carter, turned to look at Sadie Kane. The blonde-streak head of hers was yawning.

"Sadie, that's rude." Isis sounded hurt, which was understandable. She, after all, had been the one to invite her.

Sadie held her hands up in defense. "Don't blame me! You gods –"

"Or goddess." Isis corrected.

"– talk about things I don't understand –"

"There's a lot you don't understand, Sadie."

"– and do boring stuff!" She finished, almost ignoring her brother. Almost.

"Carter, are you calling me stupid?!"

The fifteen-year-old boy grinned, mischief twinkling in his eyes. "Nope, 'stupid' is too much of an understatement for someone like you."

Snickers filled the room. They watched as the younger girl fumed. It wasn't hard to imagine horns protruding from her pretty dyed head. "Wha-? Why you –!"

"Don't look at me like that, Sadie," Carter sniggered. "It was a compliment."

Sadie Kane was never a person of much patience. It didn't took her long before deciding on beating the bloody hell out of her brother. Unfortunately for her, the war god just had had to pick the moment to speak up.

"What do you mean 'boring'?" Horus bawled. "Do not just go ahead and say things you are not even sure about!"

"You're sure early to reply – a-ah no! I mean, y-you're –"

Sadie started to protest but the god held up his hand, signaling for her to listen.

"Wait, I'm not finished. Now, where was I? Oh! So, like I was saying, just because you haven't heard our conversation doesn't give you right to say things such as," he scrunched his face, _"boring_."

Sadie blinked for a couple of times and looked at the pharaoh of the gods in confusion. "Our?'

Horus puffed his chest proudly. "Horus – which is I – and Carter!"

Many rolled their eyes as others looked at him with interest. It was rare to see the war god act like that, especially the puffing of the chest. Whispers echoed throughout the throne room. Meanwhile, Carter settled to face palming.

"Really, Horus, really?" the boy muttered.

While Sadie's face transformed to that of realization, Bast, the cat goddess, started in alarm. "Wait, wait, wait."

"We're not going anywhere," Set butted in.

The goddess glared at him. She then turned her head to look at Horus. "So _you're_ telling me that _you_ and my little tomcat Carter were _both_ having a 'secret conversation' that only the both of you can hear?"

Carter Kane groaned. "Don't put it like _that_, Bast. It's disturbing!"

Unfortunately for Carter, Horus merely puffed his chest again. "Yes, yes we did."

"Not helping!"

Once again, the poor boy went ignored.

"Also," the king of gods continued. "Isn't it normal for a god and his host to talk through telepathy?"

"Wow, he actually made a point!"

"Stop interrupting, Set! Now, listen here, Horus," Bast glowered. "_No one_ goes around stealing my little kitten. Especially you!"

"Kitten? Like I said, that sounds disturbing."

The war god frowned. "_My?_ Do I need to remind you of your place, Bast?" He waved his hand threateningly.

The cat goddess may have once said that she was a coward; that she ran away from fights. Yet now, it was hard to believe her so.

"Then please do." She determinedly murmured. "It is my duty, and I'm not going to fail for a second time. Watch me."

As Horus readied his khopesh, a wickedly sharp curved sword, and Bast fixed her stance, someone stepped in. The surprising thing was that it wasn't Carter. Rather, it was Set.

Horus felt his famous eye – the organ, not Carter – twitch. "You again?"

The man gave a disapproving frown. "I do not know what you mean. Although if the both of you are going to fight over the boy, whom I terribly pity, you can start by giving –"

"Flowers?" Isis gushed.

"How about dresses and skirts?" Sadie supplied helpfully. "I mean, he has the body, the looks and the –"

"No!" Carter's face went to several shades of red. The poor teen kept on stuttering as he fought to keep the blush from his face. He turned to look at his sister and the goddess of magic in horror. "T-this isn't some sort of l-love triangle! Stop misunderstanding!"

He flailed his arms, looking at the others pleadingly. The others, save for Thoth and Bes, had a suggestive look in their eyes. They merely shook their heads and watched. Anubis just gave him a pitying smile. He knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of such conversations.

Horus, his sword gone, stroked an imaginary beard. "Yes, I would very much like to see that." Bast merely nodded, purring her agreement.

Carter sniffed. "I hate you all. Especially you, Set."

"Liar."

"Your hate is always welcome, boy."

"Nu-uh, brother. I'm just that lovable and you know it!"

"_All_?Impossible! No one can be compared to the same extent as Horus!"

The blonde with blue streaks stared at the god in disbelief, among others. Beside her, Anubis shook his head, as if embarrassed. He mumbled to her ears, "His arrogance never ceases to amaze me."

"Sometimes," Sadie slowly drawled, "I worry for Carter. Having an arrogant psychopathic war god in your head has serious consequences."

"_Sometimes_, you don't need to have an arrogant psychopathic war god in your head to give you serious consequences." Set piped up, appearing near the girl.

"Tell me about it," Bes added.

Sadie glared at the god of chaos. "Go find a conversation of your own!"

"Eh? Me? How about Bes?"

She ignored him then turned to look at the dwarf. "Really?"

Bes nodded. "I speak from experience, girl."

Isis, not wanting to be left out from the conversation, came over. "I think everyone does."

* * *

><p>"So," Thoth finally decided it was time to speak up. Everyone turned to look at him. "What do you suggest we do?"<p>

Sadie, the chair cushioning her, looked up. "Well, how about we play truth or dare? You gods will make up the questions and dares and we," she gestured to herself and her brother, "will do the same."

The girl watched as the immortal beings contemplated her offer. She can imagine the gears turning in their heads – cold and calculating. Soon, they came to an agreement. Horus, being the leader that he is, stepped forward and said, "Speaking on the behalf of the gods, we accept your offer, Sadie Kane."

The blonde whipped her head. "What do you say, Carter?"

"Well," he softly tapped his fingers against the armrest, "why not?"

"I'll take that as a yes." Sadie Kane then grinned at the undying. "Give us your best shot, because we are _so_ _not _backing down!"

Carter Kane smiled. "You said it!"

One of the gods grinned. "I will make you wish you hadn't said that."

Horus poked the god's arm. "Stop stealing my lines, Set."

* * *

><p>"What are the rules?"<p>

Sadie looked at Thoth. "Good question. Carter?"

Carter scratched his head. "Well, how about we each take turns and – why are you laughing, Sadie?"

Sadie attempted to hold back a snicker. "Sorry, you just reminded me of Khufu. You can continue."

Carter glared at her. "So, like I was saying, we each take turns. If you gods ask us a question, Sadie and I are obliged to answer. However, you can't give us a dare unless it's your turn again. The same goes for us."

Set licked his lips. "Sounds fun."

Horus was eager to start. He was practically bouncing on his seat. "Who'll go first?"

"I will." Khonsu calmly looked at the siblings. "First question, then. What's your deepest most unwanted secret?"

Sadie and Carter both looked at each other. "W-well…"

The moon god grinned, his bright teeth blinding. "You cannot lie because I hold the –" Khonsu rummaged inside his pockets. " – feather of truth! 'Got it from Osiris myself."

Sadie's mouth was open impossibly wide. "T-that's impossible! Not to mention unfair!"

Carter softly placed his hand underneath her jaw and closed her mouth. "You'll catch flies, sis. But I wouldn't really mind if you do."

Khonsu gave a wide smile to Sadie. "Life's unfair, deal with it." The moon god then shot Carter a wink. "I like you. Did I mention that?"

Carter frowned. "No, although I wish you hadn't."

"Anyway," Khonsu said. "You still haven't answered my question. What's the secret you want to erase the most?"

Sadie Kane was fidgeting, her hands clammy with sweat. "It's, um, well…"

"You can't do that," Carter said, surprising his sister and Khonsu. "You didn't let us pick truth or dare."

The moon god pouted. "You didn't mention that in the rules."

"Because it doesn't need to be mentioned; letting the players choose is already default in the game."

"I did not know that!"

"Well, now you do."

Khonsu then turned to look at Horus, who was greatly enjoying the show. "I can see why you chose the boy," he said admiringly.

Horus smirked. "Definitely not for his looks."

* * *

><p>"So, truth or dare?"<p>

Sadie rubbed her chin. "Since you asked… dare!"

Horus frowned. "Shouldn't you let Carter decide as well?"

Sadie smiled – a bit too bright for the war god's liking. "Oh, don't worry about that. Anything I say, Carter follows. Isn't that right, brother dear?"

"No, not really."

"See?" Sadie gave Horus a really wide, wicked grin. The god inched away from her and whispered in Isis's ear, "Wow, she's power-hungry _and_ crazy – like you. No wonder you picked her."

The goddess of magic glared at the falcon god. "Like you're one to talk."

"Hurry up and give us a dare already!"

"_And _bossy! Definitely like you!"

Isis growled. "Drop. It."

* * *

><p>"It is still my turn. So," the moon god said, "a dare, huh?"<p>

Sadie seriously nodded.

"Then… I dare you to swap clothes!" Khonsu grinned.

Sadie looked horrified. "But I don't want to smell like _Carter_!"

"As if _you_ smell any better," Carter muttered.

"A dare's a dare, girl."

"Fine then. Come on, Carter!"

His sister abruptly dragged the poor boy away. "Wha-? Let go of me, Sadie!"

"Not until we change clothes!"

Carter grumbled. "Why are you so enthusiastic? We're wearing our _pajamas_, for Ra's sake! Unless you really want to smell like me _that_ bad, I can't seem to find a reason for your eagerness."

* * *

><p>The Kane siblings –or rather, Sadie Kane– didn't left the gods waiting.<p>

"Wait, I don't see any changes!" Khonsu frowned.

"Then you must be blind."

"No, Carter, he's right – for once."

"For once? That deeply hurts me, you know."

Carter ignored the god of the moon. "What were you all expecting? Sadie and I were wearing _identical_ clothes! How could you not notice that?"

Horus huffed. "Well, sorry and – wait, does that count as a 'truth'?"

"Not really. You answered on your own free will." Sadie remarked, who seemed to have entirely forgotten the issues she had against the dare a while ago.

Thoth, however, hadn't. "I see you aren't complaining," he observed. "So you really _do_ want to smell like your brother!"

Carter was upset. "Why can't you all understand that that sounds disturbing?"

It was times like this the fifteen-year-old pharaoh was most invisible.

Sadie shot back at the god of wisdom. "Complaining won't change a thing!"

"But you complain all the time!"

"Shut up, Isis! Why are you suddenly siding with Ja-hooty?" Sadie stomped on her foot. "Ugh, why can't anyone try to understand and listen?"

"Welcome to my life, sis."

"…"

* * *

><p>"Awkward!"<p>

Both Sadie and Carter turned to look at the sneering Set, annoyance etched on their pretty face.

"Shut up!"

* * *

><p>"It's your turn, children." Hearing that from the god of Chaos, evil and sandstorms was a little creepy. He must have gotten it from Amos Kane, the siblings' uncle. No one said a thing about it, though.<p>

"So," Sadie started, "truth or dare?"

"Truth," the gods said simultaneously, as if they had already decided.

The siblings shared a look. In this rare moment – which was actually pretty common, the two easily came to an agreement.

"Is sarcasm non-existent?"

For a moment, the superior and supreme supernatural beings of Egypt gave them blank looks. It was in that moment alone that the Kanes learned the truth.

"I knew it," Carter whispered.

"No wonder they ended up like _that_," Sadie whispered back.

* * *

><p>Moments passed; some embarrassing, others entertaining. Time was quick to take its leave. The game, they all knew, was nearing its end. All of them wanted to keep on playing. There, however, was a limit to things. So gods and magicians alike decided upon one thing: a last round to end the day.<p>

"Truth or dare?"

Carter and Sadie looked at each other. "Truth."

"How does it feel like, when you're in bird forms, I mean?"

They clearly weren't expecting this, judging from the surprised looks of the Kane siblings.

"Well," Carter ran a hand through his hair. "Being a falcon is great! I mean, accurate eyesight, pretty sharp senses and a majestic form? It's hands down awesome! Although," he acknowledged, "despite their looks, they're actually pretty stupid. Having the occasional urge to kill furry rodents and mice – yum – isn't what I would call being smart."

Sadie snickered at her brother. "Gee, Carter. Since when did you become this humble?"

Standing up from her huge comfortable chair, sitting her, Anubis and Bes, she strode to the middle of the gods' and goddesses' throne room. She tried to imitate Carter, her hands busy making embarrassing gestures.

"_They're actually pretty stupid," _she spoke in a high squeaky voice.

Carter, used to his sister's weird shit she always managed to conjure, rolled his eyes. "Says the person who ate fruit bats."

"It w-was survival i-instinct," Sadie stuttered. "Definitely not my fault!"

Aha! Revenge for Carter!

A grin on his face, Carter shot her a wink. "Whatever you say, sister dear, whatever you say."

* * *

><p>"We're back!"<p>

The initiates looked up from their food. Meanwhile, Khufu tore his gaze away from his Jell-O splattered plate and uttered a grunt, acknowledging their presence.

"Carter! Sadie! Where did you go?" Walt stood up from where he was sitting and hurried to the weary-looking siblings.

"Narnia," Carter weakly replied, half-carrying a dead-looking Sadie Kane.

The dark-skinned teen stopped and gave him an incredulous stare. "Do I want to know?"

Carter slowly shook his head, muttering things like "_never again"_ and _"stupid gods"_.

"No, Walt, don't. It was just another ordinary day for the Kanes."


End file.
